Archive for May 9th, 2009

May 9, 2009


i can feel you.  where you are.  im lost.  blindfolded.  arms outstretched.  searching for your embrace. waiting to be rescued.  delivered.  from the endless search.  take me in your arms.  tell me i’m beautiful.  tell me i will never be alone again.  let me feel the security of your arms.  the passion of your kiss.  press my body close to yours.  wipe my tears.  and speak the words i hunger for.  tell me all the ways we’ll make love.  promise me your heart.  and take mine.  with all its bruises.  and i will assure you.  that all of its punctures.  only mean.  my love flows more abundantly.  read me poetry. and i will write our love story.  i imagine your scent.  and the comfort of your voice.  the strength in your hands.  your smile.  the richness of your eyes.  i long to gaze into them.  hurry and find me.  im waiting.

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May 9, 2009

B inspired.

Make my thoughts your own
Taste my mind, and touch my…
Rape my heart
And nurture my soul
Feel my words
As they attempt to reach
The very depths of you
Hunt me
Catch me
Release who I long to be
Take me on a journey
Not soon forgotten
See me without looking
Love me without knowing
Touch me with words
More than anything physical
Say you want to know more
And I will tell you

May 9, 2009

Big girls don’t cry.

funny when your name alone doesnt sound right.
when it was always you and someone else.
crazy how your heart hurts.
because you can actually feel the loss.
worse than anything physical.
i never thought i would be here.
without her.
by my side.
never thought it would be me and someone else.
her and another.
my heart doesnt quite understand.
the decision i’ve made.
and i dont quite understand my heart.
there was always safety in her arms.
in her eyes.
truth and love.
honor and loyalty.
she knew me.
more than i knew me.
she still does.
i hope she knows.
that i never meant to hurt her.
to do so intentionally.
would be to hurt.
one of God’s greatest creatures.
truly a sin.
i never meant to make her cry.
never wanted her to look at me that way.
never wanted that look to be for me.
i hope she knows my tears are for her.
and im gonna miss her.
like a child misses that blanket.
hard to move into unfamiliar territory.
uncertain and afraid.
without your best friend.
to tell you everything will be ok.
there were times.
i thought a part of her.
had crept into my soul.
and took residence.
leaving behind an imprint.
of where she was for so long.
snuggled close to my heart.
i miss her.
her gentleness.
her touch.
i hope she knows.
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May 9, 2009

for @djbluelight

my reality

just doesnt seem fair

look to my right

and my left

aint no woman there

to help guide me through

each passing day


knows just what to say

and understsands

just what i need

a beautiful pair

of watchful eyes

to make sure

 i dont burn

my curly fries


May 9, 2009

so broken

his memory is fading…
becoming vague…
i can hear his last words…
echoing deep…
within the hollow space in my heart…
the unfillable space he left…
an irreplaceable love never to be found…
no closure…
no happy ending…
no time to heal…
left with the god awful feeling…
of wanting…
what can never be had…
a fathers love…
a warm embrace…
from he who gave me life…
no choice…
but to be born into his life of misery…
a life that left me broken…
but still…
i miss my daddy…
his smile…
his big belly…
and his contagious laugh…
what i wouldn’t give…
for one last moment with you…
i miss you daddy…
i’m so broken…
May 9, 2009


I stood in the corner of the dimly lit club dancing with my half empty cup raised slightly in the air. I could feel the vibrations of the bass coming from the speakers. As usual, my ankles got that warm sensation mid way through my drink. Not just any drink though, something nice like a red devil. That drink did it every time. There was something magical about liquor that made me aware of my clit. I could only think of how good it would feel at that moment to be between some soft sexy thighs, sweet smelling pussy just inches away from my face. Why did I even allow those thoughts in my head? I was at the club solo and felt like a kid in a candy store. Suddenly, I caught a quick glimpse of something stunning in the crowd that almost caused me to drop my drink. I tried desperately not to lose sight of her, but the club was packed and just as quickly as I found her, I had lost her. I played it cool and within the next few seconds, we made eye contact. She was so damn sexy and she could tell I was watching her. I moved slowly to the music, my eyes fixated on her. I took the last sip of my drink, put the straw in my mouth and let the cup fall to the floor. Although she was already dancing, now she was dancing for me. She had an olive complexion that was enhanced by what looked like a fresh tan, thick curly hair, pretty full lips…very exotic. She wore black leather stiletto boots, lowrise skinny jeans and a wife beater tied in a knot in the back revealing her midriff. In my mind I had already gone over there, grabbed her, and ripped off her clothes. In reality, I was frozen, stunned by her sex appeal. She began dancing her way over to me, my anticipation built with every seductive step she took. Within a few seconds, she was in front of me. I was chewing on that damn straw like it was a fresh piece of gum bursting with flavor. She gave me a devilish grin, her tongue creeping out of the corner of her lips. I hadn’t thought it possible for someone to be so sexy. Her scent was intoxicatingly sweet, like strawberries and champagne. Everything else around us seemed to be moving in slow motion now. She put one hand on my waist and began dancing a tantalizing dance. I looked down at the small space between us, and bit my bottom lip. I could feel myself breathing hard as I watched her pussy moving inches away from mine. I hadn’t felt an intense attraction like this in longer than I cared to remember. Just a few moments ago I was standing by myself contemplating leaving, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I grabbed her hips and pulled her close to me, we moved together and I could feel my pussy getting wetter with every sensual movement. We were so close now that I could feel the warmth of her breath on my cheek. For a minute I forgot where we were, or that there were even people dancing around us. I held onto her waist and backed us against the wall in the corner. I slid my hands down on her ass and pushed her onto me. We were still moving to the music, but in a much more sexual way now. She whined her waist and rubbed her pussy on my thigh to the beat of the music. I wanted to pull her jeans down, get on my knees and bury my face between her legs right there, but was yanked out of my fantasy as she began whispering in my ear, “You’re turning me on so much right now…you’re so fuckin sexy.” The sound of her voice sent chills down my spine. She sounded sexier than I had imagined. She held the side of my face, and with her thumb, she traced the outline of my lips. I ran my hands slowly up the sides of her waist until my thumbs were at her breast. She placed her hands on top of mine and assisted me in caressing them. Her skin felt like silk. I felt as though I was reaching my limit. I was very close to not caring that we were in a club. I wanted to get my mouth wet. I couldn’t believe what was happening, it didn’t seem real. I felt like I was about to explode. I touched her breast and made little circles around her nipples with my thumb, they were hard and I wanted nothing more at that moment than to lift up her shirt and gently suck on her nipples that I was sure were as pretty as I pictured them in my head. Her eyes were small now and I could tell she wanted it too. She was biting her bottom lip and had found her way under my shirt. She squeezed my back, almost begging me to just do whatever I wanted with her. Without any warning whatsoever, she leaned in and began teasing my lips with her tongue, sucking on my bottom lip, then the top one before pulling away leaving my mouth open wanting more. Her hands disappeared for a moment, but I hadn’t even realized it until they reappeared as she grabbed my hand and began guiding it to her open pants. “Damn!” is all I could come up with, I was speechless. I didn’t even know this girls name, but even worse, I really didn’t care. My mouth was watering for her pussy. I swore I could almost taste it. Finally, my hand was inside her pants, and what felt like lace panties. With my thumb I began rubbing her clit in a slow circular motion; she let her head fall back and held me tight. Her clit was immersed in her juices, engorged and throbbing. I inserted a finger inside of her and she let out a soft moan. She moved her waist and fucked my finger, still to the music. I inserted another finger and she stared at me, her eyes small, and moaned louder than before. I moved my fingers deep inside her, still rubbing her clit with my thumb. I leaned my head back on the wall and closed my eyes. I imagined us in my bed, my face deep in her pussy not letting one drop of her reach the bed. I wanted her so bad I could taste it; I licked my lips and fantasized about her sitting on my face. I eased my other hand under her shirt. She was braless, her breast felt soft and supple, her nipples hard and suckable. I couldn’t take it anymore. I lifted her shirt up a bit revealing her breast and without hesitation, began massaging her perfect brown nipples with my warm tongue. I twirled my tongue around them, still rubbing and fingering her wet pussy. She whispered in my ear, “I wanna feel you on top of me. I wanna spread my legs wide for you.”  With that I could feel her pussy begin to tighten around my fingers. She grabbed handfuls of my shirt and squeezed me tight. Her body felt limp, I wrapped one arm around her waist and held her tightly, still vigorously playing with her warm, wet pussy. She moaned and licked her lips as her pussy gripped my fingers tighter. She buried her face in my neck and wrapped her arms around me, still fucking my hand, moaning and making sounds only I had the pleasure of hearing. And just like that, right there in the corner of the crowded night club, she came, all over my fingers. She took a small step back and I removed my hand from her pants. I raised my hand to my mouth, and sucked each of my soaked fingers individually. She liked that. She adjusted her shirt and leaned in for a kiss. Before I could even ask her name, she began walking backwards buttoning her jeans. I reached out to her, but she didn’t come back and just like that, she disappeared into the crowd. I returned to the same club in the weeks that followed, but never did see her again. I still fantasize about seeing her and taking our passion beyond the club to the bedroom, but unfortunately, she remains just a memory…an unforgettable memory.