the lunacy of love

let’s buy a piggy bank

and save for a special date

making the most

of this hardscrabble life
let’s fall in love

every day
and make wicked love

every night
you’ll make promises
that i know you’ll keep
and i’ll whisper
only sweet somethings

in your ear
we’ll roller-skate backwards
and you’ll pick me up
when i fall
let’s believe the impossible
let’s run
when we should walk
let’s frolic
amidst crystalline raindrops
sweet cadence filling
only our air
absorbing every moment
of our
nascent bliss
our veins pulsing with joy
our pores leaking with euphoria
people will stare at us
two rare specimens
and we will tell them
this is

the lunacy of love

I will never forget

your hands tight around my neck

my eyes wide with fear

looking into yours

and seeing evil

your grip getting stronger

my head swelling

the blood vessels around my eyes

POPPING

me clawing at your hands

wanting so badly to scream

and beg

my mouth open

tiny squeaks escaping

everything is going dim

as i stare into your eyes

trying to speak to you

with my helplessness

your face stern

unaffected

by my silent pleas

for mercy

i cant breathe

i’m panicking

i’m choking

you’re killing me

everything that seemed so big

seems so small now

i’m so weak now

cant see you clearly anymore

cant fight anymore

i’m mouthing “please”

in one last effort

thinking these are the hands

of my protector

we created life together

you’re taking mine

so sad

i had to be rescued

by my  baby girl

sad

that i couldnt swallow

for one week

the bruises were visible

for two

the scars are forever though

i can forgive

i have forgiven

but i will never forget.

Untitled

I  wrote this several years ago…and decided to post it after a convo about strap-on sex…

 

I love the way you fuck me

I want you to do it

over

and over again

Causing me to cum

and moan

uncontrollably

It’s been too long

since you’ve fucked me

Since I’ve been under you

With my legs spread for you

opened wide

so you could go deep inside

Let me whisper

I love you

in your ear

Lean up

so I can see your face

So I can see

how much it pleases you

to fuck me

Baby I want you

on top of me

I can’t wait any longer

I want to cum for you

Moan for you

Cry for you

I want you to tease me

And fuck me

Tell me you love me

Baby I can’t take it

I am so wet right now

Wet for you

I want you

Baby I love you

I was so in love with her then

I could spend the rest of my days waking…

to your soulful eyes…

the eyes that look at me…

and make me feel beautiful…

and whole…

in your eyes I see my future staring back at me…

 

I wonder what you see in mine…

do you see all that I feel…

hope…

happiness…

lust…

the eyes of your wife…

the mother of your child…

your soul mate…

staring back at you…

 

I wonder if you comprehend…

the greatness of your touch…

and all that it means…

I gaze at your hands…

those hands…

I wonder if you understand what I feel…

when I look at them…

the hands that touch me…

please me…

the hands that would protect me…

and spare me harm…

the hands that would work…

to provide for our family…

the hands that gently touch my face…

exuding love and care…

I wonder if you know what they mean to me…

 

I wonder if you know…

or see…

what I see…

if you really comprehend what we could be…

together…

in love…

healthy and happy…

looking every day to god…

for guidance…

and thanking him for uniting us…

 

I wonder if you can surrender to this incredible love…

that god has put before us…

I wonder if you realize…

that not to…

would be a sin…

 

I wonder if you will allow your heart…

to be as open as your mind…

and let me in completely…

 

I wonder if you know…

how much I love you…

feeling the need…

to ramble and release.  feeling overwhelmed and lonely.  feeling lost and frazzled.  from conception it feels as though i have been “dealing” with something or other.  never at peace.  as a child it was dealing with my father beating my mother.  with his alcoholism.  with his drug abuse. with his lies and promises. and finally his death. with us being broke. being evicted. with knowing too much when i was too little to “deal.”  with my mothers depression. and coldness. with my own.  my abusive boyfriend. being a parent at 14. and then again at 15. his mental and physical abuse for 12yrs. the financial struggles of being a teen parent. now the financial trouble of being a parent to teens. with no support from the dead beat.  my son leaving me to live with his dad. getting him back.  dealing with his behavioral and academic issues.  just add it up. dont forget the bills. the dogs. the job. the fibromyalgia. toxic relationships. the fake smile to greet those who arent TRULY concerned with my reality.  Fine..I’m just fine i say.   i’m not fine.  im cracking. im losing. i am forgetting to breathe. to pray. to count my blessings. thank you almighty for my job. for shelter. for clothing. for food. for the ability to provide. for my sanity. for my strength. for your strength. for the energy to cope.  for my mother.  hard to look to the sky when you’re watching your every step…trying not to fall.  trying to keep focused on the road. need to be prepared for the upcoming stress.  there arent warning signs that read: WARNING: Stress 5 miles ahead.  My thoughts are like bumper-to-bumper-traffic…never ending.  my head feels full. and my heart feels heavy.

a hand rests on my shoulder…

reminding me to…

breathe…

breathe…

breathe…

No justice…

::Info on Action June 6th::

On May 16, 2009 two Lesbians of Color were brutally and unnecessarily beaten by police officers in front of a club in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn, NY. The Safe OUTside the System Collective of The Audre Lorde Project and Gays & Lesbians of Bushwick Empowered of Make the Road by Walking are organizing a protest against the 77th Precinct for the women who were attacked.

WHEN: Saturday June 6th @ 3PM

WHERE: Brooklyn, 77th Precinct – St. Marks Avenue and Utica Avenue

WHY: Because the system continues to allow this injustice to occur

WHO: Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Two-Sprit, Trans, & Gender Non-Conforming People of Color, and their Allies No Justice No Peace!! Join the S.O.S. Collective and GLOBE to show the 77th Precinct that our community will not allow racist and homophobic cops to threaten and brutalize our parties and our communities.

A perfect morning

I open my eyes

Your sleeping face

My morning delight

I grasp the nape of your neck

My thumb resting on your lobe

And I reach in

To give you a morning kiss

Your eyes squint open

And you smile

You wrap your arms around me

And roll onto your back

Taking me with you

My curls fall forward

Creating a canopy

For a hundred kisses

The sheets entangle us

We wrestle playfully with them

To free our naked bodies

You grab my butt cheeks

And push me into you

I giggled and assist you

With a slow grind

You run your tongue

Slowly across your lips

I sit up and straddle you

Streams of sunlight

Divide us

Your hands roam

Exploring

My thighs

Upwardly tracing

The outline of my body

Caressing my breast as I

Remove a band from my wrist

And fix my hair into a high messy bun

You are beautiful, you say

My heart weakens

I fall

And melt into you

You rub my back

Your fingers barely touching my skin

It gives me chills

I trace tiny I-love-you’s on your breast

And watch as your nipple hardens

The sound of your heart beat lulls me back to sleep

It is a perfect morning