and so…

I realize that some of my insecurities surfaced yesterday… And some unintentionally hurtful words… stung… Gave me a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach… And I just wanted to dig a hole… and crawl in it… I haven’t been good lately… Haven’t been eating the best… Haven’t been consistent in the gym… and have been feeling a little blah about myself… ugh… I have a lot of physical insecurities as most women do… but I am always my own worst critic… I pick myself apart… dissect myself… point out all of my flaws… and they feel begin to feel plentiful…

I was never told that I was beautiful as a child… that’s probably because I wasn’t… I was usually the target of some joke… flat ass… pale skin… lanky body… kinky hair… big forehead… etc… and I think as I got older… although I became more secure with my physical attributes… I have remained sensitive about certain things… more-so when I’m in a funky place emotionally… and of course… my darling dear mother still loves to point out what could use improvement… I think paying me a complement might actually cause her physical pain… or at least it seems that way…

And that’s really all I have to say about that…



11 Comments to “and so…”

  1. Hey, don’t let anybody tell you differently; you’re beautiful. I only “know” of you through this blog, but I really think that you’re beautiful. Your mind is beautiful. Your words are beautiful. Your soul is beautiful, and if that picture above is of indication, you’re physically beautiful as well. I know it’s harder to do, but don’t let anybody, even your mom, make you feel less than beautiful, k?

  2. I pretty sure everyone was teased as a kid. You got to give them credit…every little kid can find something to make fun of someone.

    It was probably easy for them to find things to pick on me. I was overweight and super smart for my age. And I wore glasses. haha

  3. wow…thank you so much for your kind words… thank you for taking the time to read my rants…my words… and comment… truly appreciated!!!

  4. awww nathan, im sure you were adorable… and you look great now! 🙂

  5. Mother’s have way of causing damage without realising it don’t they?

    My issue is my nose. My mother used to say it was big all the time. I know now that it isn’t but some days I look at my pics and still prefer the ones i take on profile.

    Now that I’ve lived a bit I compare myself to others less and less. Everybody is unique, and everybody wishes they could change something. Just do you, you’re unique, you’re special and you’re beautiful!!!

    • Thank you Bianca! And yes, moms often think they are being helpful…but their words can be so damaging!

      If only we could see the beauty that others see in us!

  6. You. Are. Beautiful. 🙂

  7. Beauty is not a question when it comes to you… You just are.

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