Archive for ‘LOVE’

April 4, 2011

Sweet surrender…

Something in her… 
speaks…
to something in me…
quietly…
softly…
but my soul hears her…
loud and clear…
her touch…
tames me…
invades me…
figuratively…
and literally…
she’s so deep inside me…
she enters me…
through every orifice…
and pierces through parts of me…
seemingly…
impenetrable…
she enters with ease…
and has her way…
I love her way…
I surrender…
give her what she wants…
however she wants it…
as if my body…
has no say in the matter…
as if she has mind control powers…
she takes me…
she owns it…
I give it…
I lose it…
something in her…
has taken over…
something in me…
and I surrender…
 
March 28, 2011

Happy Birthday…

she didn’t want to make too much of a fuss of this day… she’s feeling a little vulnerable… time does that to us… as we feel it moving faster than us… but her birthday is a special day… sounds cliché and corny… but i am so thankful that she is here… and i have missed so many birthdays… so many years of her life… i want to celebrate every day of knowing her… i wish i could see all the things that have made her who she is today… watch as a bystander… as things made her smile… laugh… made her cry… hurt her… excited her… i know she reveals only a fraction of who she is… and when i think of how much i love the parts i know of her thus far… it makes me smile… i have so much more falling in love to do… ❤

Happy Birthday my LOVE…

You are a gift to me each day you wake…

Te adoro…

Tags: ,
March 16, 2011

hanging curtains and stuff…

The simple days are the ones that make me smile the most… an impromptu visit… a spur of the moment Target run… a trip to PathMark… and back to the apartment to make sandwiches… hang curtains and watch a movie… to make love… and cuddle… to talk… and laugh…

And, what a classic moment… as we stood back to admire the curtains… only to realize the panels were different lengths… REALLY different. SORRY!!! LOL

As usual, it was torture as our day came to an end… and I almost literally had to tear myself away from her…

Tags:
March 9, 2011

Thank you…

Yesterday was so difficult for me… putting my beloved Cupcake to rest… but I absolutely cannot let this time pass without expressing my extreme gratitude to my love… for offering me the most amazing support…

She was perfect…

Her silence spoke volumes…

Her touch was profound…

Her eyes conveyed love and understanding…

She spoke very little…

But said so much…

It felt okay to be weak…

And vulnerable…

Because I knew I would be taken care of…

In whatever way I needed…

Yesterday I saw yet another example of the greatness of her love…

She unveiled another part of herself…

And I fell deeper in love…

Thank you my love… for who you are… for all you do… and for loving me so perfectly… ❤

Tags: ,
March 3, 2011

there you are..

there you are…
in the most intimate…
crevices of my mind…
the small spaces where no one else could fit…
i find you there…
you’ve made yourself a home in my heart…
your fingertips have grazed every part of my body…
caused immense pleasure…
entered me…
pulsed within me…
caused violent explosions…
there you are…
inside me…
penetrating me…
all of me…
fucking me…
completely…
all of the places that need to be fucked…
i love how… you make love…
to all of my senses…
i breathe you in…
and you smell like…
the sweetest blooming flower…
lover i taste you…
and you taste like…
the most succulent ripe fruit… drizzled in honey…
darling i feel you…
and you feel like…
the warmth of coming home…
on the coldest winters night…
baby i hear you…
and you sound like…
an old nostalgic tune…
that takes you to that place… you wish you could stay forever…
my love i see you…
and you are…
possibly the most beautiful thing…
the universe has ever placed before me…
there you are…
all over me…
so deep inside me…
loving me…
feeding me…
devouring me…
there you are…
right where you belong…
Tags: , ,
March 2, 2011

to BE…

Wow. I am thirty-three.  I am not sure when that happened exactly.  Thinking back this morning, I realize how far I have come.  I have OVERcome so much in my life, and I have managed to remain kind, caring, affectionate, loving, compassionate and SANE.  I remember being in my 20’s and thinking that I knew it all… that I had all the answers.  I realize now, I knew NOTHING.  I see those younger than me speaking with such conviction about what they KNOW… and all I can do is smile.  They will learn… it’s not my place to tell them that nothing is as it seems.  I’m sure in my 40’s I will realize that even what I think I know NOW is not completely accurate.  That’s because growth is continuous.  I welcome it.  I’m actually hoping that there is so much more to life than what I know at this very moment. 

I hope that even with all of life’s overwhelming times… that I will always be able to appreciate the important things.  The things that truly make me happy.  Having someone to share my life with… nature… family… friends… laughing… and learning.

I realize that I rush through so much of my life.  Time always seems like it’s against me, fighting me.  I have become angry and bitter with time.  But I know it’s me.  I need to simplify.  Take inventory. De-clutter. It is the only way that I will be able to maximize my time.  Truth is, time is infinite and endless… we live by the clock… 24 hours at a time… we bind ourselves to the hours we have in the day… overdoing and overloading ourselves.  I can’t do it anymore.  It is killing me. 

As you get older, and time seems more scarce, you develop a different kind of appreciation for it.  You have more respect for it.  I want to take time to eat, to write, to meditate, to think positive thoughts, to indulge in things that are pleasing to my senses… to kiss… and savor the things that enrich my soul… to nourish my body and my mind.  I want to nurture meaningful relationships and let go of ones that don’t serve me.

Today I have made a promise to myself to LIVE more.  To take my time, to learn to say NO, to pay attention to my words, my actions, to breathe more, to love deeper, to BE.

February 27, 2011

Effortless.

In the past I realize I have made some poor relationship choices.  Unhealthy ones that I knew in my gut were not wise.  Why did I move forward then?  I honestly cannot answer that question, and I have tried.

All of my partners have been so different. I loved them all for the amazing qualities that they each possessed, but with the exception of one, maybe two, I knew that it wasn’t going to be a forever thing.  Subconsciously I guess I was okay with that. 

I guess one of my issues is that I like to see the good in people.  I’m always hopeful that I will be able to overlook certain things, and that the good will outweigh the bad.  In a nutshell, I have settled. 

I have kissed my share of frogs in my journey to find my Miss Charming…

Feels good to not feel like I am settling… to feel that the person I love is all I could have imagined… and then some…

Loving consciously… taking all that I have learned from my many mistakes… and creating the relationship I have always dreamed of… the one I was starting believe was impossible…

It’s still sinking in… not only is it possible… but it’s effortless.

Tags: ,
February 25, 2011

home…

i can lose myself in her. not in the bad kind of way where you compromise your own being. but in the way that i can totally forget about everything outside of the love i feel.

her face. her smile. her laugh. her touch. her kiss. her gaze. her embrace. her sweet nothings. her toes. her back. her arms. her hands. her neck. her bite. her strength. her voice. her hair. her glasses. her walk. her lines. her taste. her scent. her spirit. her soul. her. just her. i can get so lost in her. and just be. be free. be me.

she feels like a vacation for my soul. an escape for my heart. a weekend getaway for my mind. 

i get so lost in her. 

she feels like home.

Tags: ,
February 22, 2011

paths…

i have never been a big believer in “fate” or “destiny”

but…

it is blowing my mind how many times i subtly crossed her path…before she ultimately crashed into mine…

i remember being nosy one day and going to her time line to see who she was…realizing she was someone’s girlfriend…

although it didn’t matter much at that time… because i was someone’s girlfriend too…

i remember reading someone’s blog… and seeing her comments… not realizing who she was because there was no photo corresponding with her comment post…but i remember thinking how lovely her words were…

i remember the day someone told me about this girl they were digging…and it was her…

i remember the day i was mentioned in a follow friday… and to my surprise she tweeted that she was now following @_wordy (and a few others)…

i remember our innocent interactions… and for some reason feeling that they would become more significant…

and they did…

our tweets… and DMs… and late night phone calls…

led to our meeting…

and every moment since then… has been effortlessly wonderful…

but all those lil “chance” encounters blow my mind…

what if no #FF… or no “numbers game” … or no dying battery that led to a weekend long DM session… that led to our first telephone conversation… that led to us…

wow… that would have just been tragic…

February 21, 2011

change…

crazy how much can change in a few months.  i was looking over a few of my last journal entries.

11/30/10:  “my soul is bleeding. hungry. wandering aimlessly. sad about how my family has abandoned me. i feel like the outcast my father was.”

at that time, my relationship was also coming to an end.  it was a very weird time. everything felt wrong… and overwhelming.

12/5/10: “missing page was my goodbye letter to her.” (previous page had been torn out)

i couldnt see the light at that time.  but i do believe it’s true… that certain things fall apart… so that other things can come together.

and come together they have. beautifully.