Posts tagged ‘Keep telling yourself’

March 31, 2011

empty stomach, full brain.

I always struggle with how much of what is on my mind I should reveal on here.  This blog has served as my safe place on many lonely nights, but sometimes I post just to vent at the risk of sounding like I am whining.  I don’t want to be perceived that way.  A whiner.

Things are extremely hectic right now.  My brain is going constantly, every waking moment.  It’s particularly exhausting.  I know I’m a survivor, but I’m fucking tired.  I feel like the last one in the race carrying a bag of bricks  cinder blocks.  OVER IT!

I am on day 2 of this cleanse and my brain feels extra incapable of handling my rigorous obsessive compulsive thinking. 

My daughter is what keeps me going, her needs… the things she deserves.  I can’t fail.  I can’t stop.  I can’t throw my hands up and say FUCK IT!  I can’t.  She needs me.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I completely and totally losing my mind simply trying to keep it all together.

I am trying to maintain an acceptable level of sanity (what’s acceptable is debatable in NY).  Finances are one of those things though… they can really fuck with you mentally.  And they are.  Fucking with me.

I wonder if it would be bad to put some vodka in this Master Cleanse shit.

March 13, 2009

If she did it…

jk21

I can do it too.

What an inspiration.

March 11, 2009

Basic Principles

  1. Creativity is the natural order of life.  Life is energy: pure creative energy.
  2. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life-including ourselves.
  3. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator’s creativity within us and our lives.
  4. We are, ourselves, creations.  And we, in turn, are meant to continue creativity by being creative ourselves.
  5. Creative is God’s gift to us.  Using our creativity is our gift back to God.
  6. The refusal to be creative is self-will and is counter to our true nature.
  7. When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction.
  8. As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.
  9. It is safe to open ourselves up to greater and greater creativity.
  10. Our creative dreams and yearnings come from a divine source.  As we move toward our dreams, we move toward our divinity.

-Julia Cameron