from scratch…

feeling the urge to create… to manifest… to build… to paint… to draw… to write… to assemble words… create a rhythmic… smooth flowing… aromatic… mentally stimulating piece of ART… i want to put it on canvas… rich hued… thick textured paints… covering the white blankness… giving it life… i wanna mold it in clay… ridges… depth… carved into it… giving it character… chutzpah… i wanna capture moments… not intended to be captured… stilled pureness… preserved… i wanna draw… the world in a million pieces as it falls from my weighted shoulders… i wanna release… my thoughts… myself… my ART…

create…

from scratch…

The artist within.

I have done everything in my power to silence the writer within me. If I think of her as a separate entity, then she is in there tugging at my heart, begging me to acknowledge her. She is helpless to do anything without my fingers. Imagine if it’s as simple as just allowing the energy bubbling inside of me to flow through my fingers! Instead of allowing the writer within me flourish, I have stifled her, suffocated her, throttled and gagged her. I have smothered her in an attempt to silence her cries for creative freedom. But luckily for me, she is stronger than I am. Her will to succeed is more powerful that my subconscious desire to sabotage myself.